Make Them, Break Them

Imaginary fears are far worse than perceived ones.
Dr. Simmi Gurwara

Promises are meant to be broken; still we have no qualms in making them. The initial stages are full of hope and aspiration that we arouse in others knowing deep within that the realization of those promises is nothing short of a distant dream. The recipients get swayed and mesmerized. Such is the magical charm of promises. They nurse and sooth and comfort the takers. The makers on the other hand swell with inflated pride that is born out of their misplaced confidence in their merit demerit. These crafty and calculated doles turn into a farce when the promises remain unmet and unattended. The makers forget fast and the takers are left aghast.

From here on the blame game begins to the full on entertainment of onlookers. The soothsayers claim and reclaim their prophecies. The makers quote every point in the book to save their thick skin and the takers know they have been brutally skinned. But it is too late to make amends. They have already missed the bus. But as we know that hope springs eternal in the human breast there is forever scope for more and much more to make and break.

After having set our eyes on the unattainable targets, we go all out to convince others for we already know what we are selling. The buyers readily buy our stuff. We let the time pass for everything settles with time. After all, nothing lasts. This too shall pass leaving behind no definitive answers. We put on our defensive armor, ready to face and fight out (or wriggle out) the charges that stem both externally and internally. The fake emotional baggage that we carry takes no toll on our psyche. Our promises lacked sincerity of purpose in the first place. No sincerity, no remorse; no remorse, no repentance.

Imaginary fears are far worse than perceived ones. ‘What if’ situation is a dreadful situation? It takes the steam out of our sails. Titans turn into minnows. And minnows look out for promises. Give them a promise and you spare them of their self generated wretchedness. Such is the power of a promise. It gives instant relief to a grieving soul. So what if there is not even an iota of truth in it. A promise is a promise.

If you avoid making promises, rather than a prospect, you become a suspect. Your integrity is doubted, your intentions are questioned. You are seen as a vagabond who is free of all commitments. To steer clear all misgivings, it is best to give in. Give people what they wish. Be a convert. This easy convertibility will pay rich dividends. You are lapped up in high esteem. You earn steady followers. Your manifesto sounds super rich in content. Your words become weighty. And you are viewed in a positive light till the time your promises are reviewed and put under scanner. This reviewing and revisiting will quite naturally result in disillusionments and disappointments on part of the takers. But there is nothing to worry about. Hope is undying and so is the power of promises. One broken promise gives way to the other.

Life may seem difficult and out of sync but till the time we have promises to keep, there remains a lot to keep us engaged and participative. Nothing deters us not even our diehard detractors for we know emotionally and cerebrally that we can love promises, we can hate promises but we can’t ignore promises. Indeed, there is a way to go.

Dr. Simmi Gurwara is Prof. and Head, department of Professional Development (Humanities and Management) at Radha Govind Group of Institutions,Meerut, UP,India.